


Truth or Dare

by ThePineapplePrincess



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Love Confessions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 04:44:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7494255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePineapplePrincess/pseuds/ThePineapplePrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A game of Truth or Dare at Gob's Saloon turns a little too truthful. FLW/Charon. I do not own Fallout or any of its characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Drinking Whiskey and Nuka Cola.

"Let's play a game!" Nova's eyes twinkle. She's up to something and I don't like the sound of it.

Its been a week since Moritarty "passed." No one was particularly upset, most were elated. Luckily that led them to not ask too many questions. Since then Charon and I have been at the bar a lot more often. He sits beside me, working on his second glass of whiskey while Im still on my first. We're the only ones here today. Since Nova stopped "working" and started helping with the bar, that kind of business has slowed down. Things at the newly named "Gob's Saloon" are quiet during the day and busy at night.

I watch as Nova rounds the corner of the bar to stand by Gob. Bar ownership and freedom looks good on the both of them. "You've got to know some fun ones. What did you guys play in the Vault?" Her question directed towards me.

I take a big gulp of my whiskey and Charon smirks as I struggle to get it down. Drinking is still new to me, and sometimes makes me nervous. "I don't know, I don't really remember." Its not entirely a lie. A lot of the Vault kids used to play Spin the Bottle down in the lower levels. They got caught once and well, that was the end of that. I had never personally been invited, but Amata told me all about it.

Nova isn't having it. "Don't lie to me Kate," She says bluntly," You guys had to have something to do underground." I just shrug, hoping I can still get out of this. I appreciate Nova's efforts at fun, but they don't seem to be entirely pure. She's been trying her best to get inside my head lately, always asking me questions. A few weeks ago she had inquired as to what I thought of Charon. My blush and jumbled mess of an answer must have been enough to raise her suspicions. Since then she has been acting sneaky.

"Okay then," Nova sighs, "I guess we'll just have to play Strip Poker."

My nose scrunches up and I turn to Charon, "What's that?" He just took a big drink of Whiskey and looks like he's choking on it. "Hell no." Charon angrily spits back at Nova once he's recovered. I've rarely seen him so mad while inside Megaton's walls. This is our home, a safe place, how bad could this game be?

"Yeah, that doesn't sound like a good idea." Gob backs him up.

I shake Charon's arm, willing his attention back to me, "What the hell is Strip Poker?!" I know Im still kind of stupid to the ways of the Wasteland, but I hate being kept in the dark. With a painfully awkward look on his face Charon describes the basics of the game. The knowledge leaves my arms clinging to the thin T-shirt and shorts I chose to wear to the bar today.

"You ever played Poker?" He asks, that pained look still on his face.

I shake my head no and it seems to make him feel worse. "Then you don't wanna play Strip Poker."

Nova smirks, "Aw you guys are no fun! So what do you say Kate, wanna play?"

Briefly I wonder and my eyes wander over to Charon. He's barely ever out of his armor, even when we're home. Seeing him in a T-shirt is a rare treat, anything less...

The feeling of a deep blush creeping on my cheeks brings me back to my senses. This isn't about seeing Charon naked, this is about me being naked in front of all of my friends.

"Hell no!" I spit, copying Charon's remarks. He smirks in appreciation and it feels good to make him proud.

"Well then you better come up with something else, or Strip Poker it is."

I bite my lip and struggle to think. After hearing about this, "Strip Poker" I know that Spin the Bottle wouldn't be much better. But those had been the main aims of games played in the Vault, timid sexual exploration of any kind, swapping-spit with whoever your empty Nuka Cola happened to land on.

Finally it hits me.

"Truth or Dare!" I say excitedly. Once Spin the Bottle had been banned, Truth or Dare had become the new popular option. Even I had played with Amata and a few of the other girls once. It was harmless enough while still fun.

Nova nods in approval, "Okay, Truth or Dare it is."

* * *

 

Nova insits that all of us sit in a circle around one of the bar's tables. She places two big bottles of Whiskey in the middle and a glass for each of us. I smile when Gob brings me a Nuka Cola so I can mix mine. Gob takes the seat beside Nova, while Charon and I sit beside each other. He looks uneasy, but less than earlier. Sometimes I feel like Charon has trouble relaxing and having fun. Although thats something he desperately needs I know its hard for him. I give him a reassuring smile, which he tries his best to return.

"Does everyone know how to play?" Nova asks, and I can feel Charon uncomfortably flinch beside me. It occurs to me that while something like Strip Poker, which might have been commonly played in The Ninth Circle, Truth or Dare is kind of a kids game. "You should explain it, just so everyone's clear." I say, trying to save Charon some embarrassment. He may be experienced when in comes to combat, but Charon is still learning a lot about the world. We both have that in common. He was stuck in a bar for half a century, while I was trapped in a vault for most of my life. Its strange how sometimes without even vocalizing it, Charon knows how I feel.

Nova doesn't complain, she simply recites the rules, "Everyone takes a turn. When its your turn you choose someone else to answer either a truth or give them a dare. Once they answer the truth or complete the dare its their turn to ask someone." I look to Charon and he nods to show that he understands. Nova gives a soft smile and I relax. Maybe the four of us can really have fun tonight. Ive always considered all of them my closest friends. They've all been there for me since I stumbled out of the Vault almost a year ago. Without Moritarty around, we can finally all be ourselves and spend real down time together. They are the friends I always wished I had growing up.

"Who should go first?" Gob asks. Before anyone else can answer Nova's already talking.

"Truth or Dare!" She directs towards Gob. He looks a bit shocked. I am too, I figured given the perfect opportunity Nova would question me right off the bat.

"M-Me?!" He stutters, "Why?!" Nova smiles devilishly. "You're who I wanted to pick. Just choose one Gob."

He looks uncertainly at me and says, "Truth."

Nova rolls her eyes, "Cop-out. Okay, are you happy that Moriarty died of "natural causes"?" She uses a sarcastic tone towards the end.

"Of course! You know I hated him, so did you." Nova smiles and swallows down more whiskey. "You're damn right about that." No one really liked Moriarity, even if they pretended to get along with him. Nova and Gob had especially hated him. He had made their lives living hell.

"That was too easy of a question." Gob says, to which Nova just shrugs. "Its your turn, so pick somebody."

I feel Gob's eyes fall on me. It doesn't make me the least bit nervous. Gob is a good guy, ever since I met him he's been kind to me. There isn't a malicious bone in his body.

"Kate, Truth or Dare." Im surprised when I see Gob's eyes go to Charon, as if he's looking for permission to ask me. Gob and Charon get along about as well as Charon can get along with most people. They didn't have any real previous relationship from Gob's time in Underworld, although they knew each other. I know Gob feels sort of scared of Charon, but most people do. Despite that I still catch them talking every once in a while.

"Truth" I say like the scaredy cat that I am. When we played in the Vault I had always been way too scared to do any Dares. Maybe among friends and with enough alcohol that will change.

"Were...were you really not afraid when you first saw me? I know you said I was the first ghoul you had ever seen." His question surprises me. It seems like Gob's been wondering about this for a while and I feel bad that I haven't given him the opportunity to ask me before now.

"Honest." I say, "I was just a little surprised." I remember the exact moment I saw Gob. He didn't look like anyone I had ever seen in the Vault. I figured there was something wrong with him, but I was never afraid. It made me upset when I saw how people treated ghouls, even more so after Charon and I started traveling together. In Megaton Moritarity had been the main one to put Gob down, out in the Wastes almost everyone said some shit about Charon. Once I had stopped a wandering trader, after we worked out some pretty fair prices for the junk I had and the Stimpaks I needed he turned his gaze on Charon. "You need someone to take care of that shuffler following you around?" he had said. Nothing could have made me madder. I promptly told him that Charon was my companion and to shove the Stimpaks up his ass. We had to scavenge for our medical supplies, but I think Charon was happy I defended him.

"What about with Charon?" Nova asks and I feel the nerves set in.

"Uh...I don't know..." I stutter, curious to see what he will say, "What do you think, did I look scared when I met you?" His eyes finally meet mine. That strangely empty blue that seems so secretive. Charon has told me more about his life than he has anyone else, yet I always feel like he's holding a lot back.

He smiles softly, just the slight turn of the corners of his mouth. Its the most of a smile you can usually get out of Charon. "You...you seemed more of confused." He's right, but I think intrigued is a better word. Charon didn't make much sense until I learned he was a slave. After that I felt completely determined to free him. It's still the best choice I have ever made out in the Wastes. I was never scared of Charon, intimidated by his size and vast skill set, but never scared.

I smile back at him, its good to hear him speak, especially around others.

"It's your turn Kate." Nova reminds me and Im brought back out of my head.

"Oh, right." I say planning my choice. It would be easy to pick any of them, but I want Charon to feel included since social events aren't exactly comfortable for him.

"Charon!" I turn to him with excitement, "Truth or Dare?" I prepare the perfect Truth in my mind. I want to ask him what he thought of me when he first saw me. Its been nagging at me for a while. When we first started traveling together Charon seemed to think of me as just a kid. I've always wondered if he really had considered me so inexperienced. I'm hopeful that it will also give me more of an insight as to how he feels about me, maybe then I won't feel like such an idiot.

"Dare." He says simply, taking another sip of Whiskey. Im completely floored.

"You can't pick dare." I say without thinking. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He gives me the most incredulous look, "I thought that was one of the main points of the game. Am I wrong?"

I shake my head, "No, you're right...I mean you can pick whatever you want, but I had a really cool Truth question!" I try to play up the excitement of this unknown question, but Charon simply shakes his head. "I still pick dare." I guess I should be happy he's utilizing the free-will I gave him, but why choose to at this moment?!

He smirks as he watches me struggle to come up with a Dare.

"I...I dare you, as long as its okay with Gob and Nova because its their's, to chug one full bottle of Whiskey."

Charon rolls his eyes and mutters something about how Im always concerned about being polite and grabs the closest bottle. Within minutes he's drained it. I watch completely amazed. He can do so much. When he's finished he gives a small accomplished smile and I stupidly clap for him.

"That was incredible!" I say, "I didn't know you could do that." Charon just shrugs and sits the empty bottle on the table. "Your turn Smoothskin," He says.

I point to myself, "But Ive already gone. Pick Nova, she hasn't gone yet. You should pick her then me." Im flustered and unsure of what Charon could want to ask or dare me to do. The idea of things I wish he'd dare me make me feel even worse.

Charon looks a bit confused, but he does what I ask. "Truth or Dare."

"Dare." Nova says with a devious smile, she's never afraid of anything.

He scans the room for ideas, "Go get a beer." Nova does as asked.

"Now what?"

"Drink it."

She looks at him completely unimpressed, "Thats it?"

Charon nods and urges her to drink.

Nova flops back into her chair and sips at her beer.

"Now I get to ask you, right?" Charon says, looking at me.

"Oh no, Im sorry, did I explain it wrong? You get to ask me on your next turn." I smile apologetically at him, poor thing. He looks disappointed and a bit angry as he drinks more and grumbles about how dumb this game is.

"Im picking you again Kate!" Nova says, obviously over how lackluster her dare was. Why does everyone want to pick me?

Nova having this power over me suddenly scares me. Either way she's going to do her best to get some kind of secret out of me.

"Truth." I breath, taking a drink of Whiskey for luck.

"Did you kill Moriarity?"

"Why do you think that?!"

"Just answer the question." Nova says with a smirk.

"No."

She stares at me for a long moment then seems to decide that she doesn't care if Im lying. Im not. I knew that a lot of people would suspect me once he passed, but I didn't do it. I never laid a hand on Moriarity, it was him that touched me. You'd think if you saw someone when they were just a baby you wouldn't try anything with them. Charon says a sleazy old man like him shouldn't have "complemented" me the way he did. I don't have a problem with older guys, but he's right.

Moriarity had been too stupid and the bar had been too quiet the night Charon and I came back because I forgot to pay Gob. He thought I was alone and that is what killed him. I give Charon a knowing look and try not to break out into a huge grin as I watch him struggle to do the same. It had been all too convenient that Mr. Moriarity had a heart condition and was easily spooked by a certain large ghoul.

* * *

 

We go back and fourth, each of us taking our own turns, drinking as we do so. Eventually its hard to remember whose turn it actually is, so we just start assigning dares and asking questions to whoever we please.

Nova is the most drunk and the loudest, so her questions are heard more easily, "Kate I want you to tell me who killed that bastard because...because I want to shake the hand of that person who did." She may be loud, but her sentences are a jumbled mess.

"Look, all Im saying is he deserved to have that heart attack. He shouldn't have been so creepy to me. and then he said that thing about-"

Charon who is the least drunk of us all gives me a warning look. "Be quiet." He instructs. Charon's had probably twice the amount of alcohol I have and could probably take on a pack of Super Mutants just fine.

"What?!" Nova says,

I pretend there is a zipper over my mouth and zip it shut. Charon gives an approving nod and I beam. I know it wouldn't hurt to tell Gob and Nova, but Charon said we shouldn't say anything to anyone. He's right though, this is home and we'd both be completely fucked if Simms kicked us out.

"You've been so secretive lately!" Nova accuses. My cheeks flush and terror runs through my veins. This better not be going where I think it is.

"Just let her be Nova." Gob tries to speak on my behalf but he gets sleepy and even more weak-willed. I love him, but he can be a push-over.

"No!" Nova retorts, standing on her chair with as much balance as she can manage. "I wanna pick you for Truth or Dare and I want to know why you wouldn't tell me the other day what you thought of Charon!"

Im completely frozen. Its strange, but I suddenly feel fully sobered up and aware of my surroundings. I don't have to look to see that all three sets of eyes are on me, I can feel them. I knew she would do this. She just can't keep her mouth shut or her mind from wandering. She's going to mess everything up.

Once the embarrassment has settled in, I become angry.

"Shut up Nova!" I scream before I can stop myself. I feel my cheeks get hotter as my eyes are clouded by emerging tears. I do my best to hold them back. I know crying will only make things worse, but its always been my natural instinct. If Im upset, angry, embarrassed, or sad I cry.

Nova must not see the emerging tears or she's too drunk to care, " Why?! So you don't have to be honest. Got something to hide?"

I'm too choked up to say anything. If I open my mouth the tears will come flooding out. I can't see Charon's face beside me but Im sure he's completely confused, maybe even angry that Nova and I were talking about him.

"Nova cut it out..." Gob tries, but this whole thing has already gone too far.

"You want to know what I think?" Nova says smirking, "I think you're too scared to say that you wish you could have your first kiss with tall, deadly, and silent."

I feel my face go pale as I spiral between feeling like Im going to pass out and feeling like Im going to throw up. This is not how it was supposed to go at all. We were all supposed to have fun tonight. Charon was supposed to have fun instead of being completely embarrassed by me, Nova was supposed to keep her stupid trap shut, and I was supposed to be able to tell him when I was ready. This can't happen like this.

Nova's face changes from pride to complete guilt when she notices that Im crying. I barely hear her apology and another deep raspy voice that calls out my name. Im too busy running out the bar door towards my home.


	2. Chapter 2

I find her bedroom door closed. I wonder for a moment if she even wants to speak to me. She only closes her door when she's sleeping or upset. It could be her way of telling me to leave her be. With a sigh I decide that it doesn't really matter, one way or another this issue has to be addressed.

I slowly push open the metal door. The room is completely dark other than the light seeping in through the cracks in the wall. Once my eyes have adjusted they search for her. She's buried so far under the covers that I don't see her at first. Its one small hand poking out that lets me know she's under all of the blankets. Dogmeat lays on the bed beside her covered form. If she's noticed i've entered, she hasn't shown any sign. I take a deep breath and get ready to face her feelings.

"Smoothskin" I say, attempting to get her attention. The small uncovered hand waves me away. She must really be embarrassed.

I use her name in hopes of coaxing her out. "Kate you've got to speak to me at some point."

She says something but I can't make it out through all of the layers. Her hand waves me away again.

I run my hand over my face. I don't want to do this anymore than she does but I can't just leave her like this. Who knows how long she will sulk in her bed? Days? Weeks? If Kate is allowed to run away from her feelings she will.

"I'm sorry that Nova embarrassed you." I attempt to start the conversation we both want to avoid. Moving farther into the room I stand by her bed. Dogmeat scoots over and I rub behind his ears, at least he will pay attention to me.

She mutters something else.

"What?"

Incoherent.

I fling the covers up off of her face, tired of playing games. I feel a twinge of guilt when I see her eyes and nose are red from crying. "I'm sorry," I whisper, "I couldn't hear you."

Kate still doesn't look at me, but at least she speaks, "I said I didn't want to talk about it." She sniffs.

I sigh, this is already difficult enough. "We can't pretend like it didn't happen." I say preparing myself to face the truth, "I know that's not something you could ever want. Nova was just being a drunken bitch."

Its silent for a long moment.

"What do you mean?"

"Nova was being stupid. She's probably just said that because she wanted to drop some hint to Gob, I don't kn-"

"No," All of a sudden she's sat up, her eyes right on mine, "What do you mean?"

Her eyes on me makes my whole body freeze for a moment. Eventually I realize she's talking about the other part of my statement. Despite my feelings i've always been completely aware of our relationship. To Kate we are friends, maybe i'm even her closest friend, but thats as far as we go.

"I mean what I said." My voice sounds hollow, "That's not something you could want, no one could."

What Nova said had hurt, it had hurt badly. I saw the way she reacted to being assumed to wanting me and she was embarrassed. I couldn't blame her. I would expect any woman, especially her to have the same reaction. Some stupid part of me had hoped though. I had hoped that one day she would, through some miracle tell me she felt the same.

She looks at me for another long moment before the tears start welling up in her eyes. It feels like shit to make her cry.

"Please don't cry, it's not something you should feel sorry about." I can only guess thats why she's suddenly upset again. Kate is a good person, but that doesn't mean she would stoop to my level. I sit down on the edge of the bed. Now Im the one that feels ashamed. I've hoped that something would change along the way. Even if it took years for her to find some small affection for me I was willing to wait.

Kate had never seemed all the interested in finding someone. Most of the men we ran into, even the nicer ones were just friends to her. Although, there was always the possibility she did find someone.

I often thought about that possibility. We would meet him in the Wastes while traveling, he would be a newcomer to Megaton, maybe even an old friend from her childhood. She would bring him into her home that she had previously only shared with me and the dog. I knew that I would be stupid enough to still care for her and request that she keep my contract. We would all live together in some sort of fucked up family. I would protect the man she loved and eventually their children. If she would allow it, I would stay with her until she died.

"Thats...not why...i'm crying." She gets out between the sobs. Poor thing looks miserable.

"Why are you crying?" I ask, desperately wanting to reach out and comfort her.

She's trying to get her bearings, but every time her crying softens it picks back up again.

"Shhh, Kate." I try to be soft for her, its hard. I was built to follow orders, kill ruthlessly, and instill fear, not to be soft. "What's wrong?"

"You're gonna...you're gonna think i'm so...stu-stupid." Her shoulders shake as she tries to speak and its getting harder to not take her into my arms. If it was ever an inappropriate time to suddenly embrace her, this would definitely be it.

"Talk to me." I whisper. Kate wipes her eyes and takes a big breath. She looks like she's preparing for something big. Briefly I wonder if this will be the moment I lose all hope. I prepare myself as well.

When she looks back up at me i'm surprised to find a small blush on her cheeks.

"What Nova said...," She begins, each word looking painful as it falls from her lips,"...she wasn't exactly...she wasn't wrong."

As soon as she finishes speaking her eyes leave me again. Im left in a complete stupor as I try to attempt to remember what Nova said exactly, where I am, and what the hell is happening.

Finally it dawns on me: Nova said she wanted to kiss me.

I try to suppress it, but i'm sure the look on my face is completely ridiculous. My brain tries to come up with as many alternatives as it can to invalidate this situation.

Maybe she's confused. Maybe I didn't hear Nova correctly. Maybe she's just saying that so I won't feel bad.

Fighting with myself, i'm silent for longer than I realize. Kate takes notice and lifts her head to see why I haven't answered her unbelievable confession.

"Oh god...I knew you'd think i'm an idiot. Im sorry...Im such a stupid child." The tears that well up in her eyes bring me back out of my head.

"What did you say?" I spit out before I can even think.

Kate sighs, she knows i've heard her clearly. "I shouldn't have said anything," She mumbles.

"If you want me to..." She bites her lip, "If you want me to sell your contract I promise I'll find someone go-"

"Nova said you wanted to..." I cut her off, but find myself unable to finish it. Its just something I can't say, its not true.

"Nova said I wanted to kiss you." She sighs, running her fingers through her hair.

"You don't want that." I declare. She can't, I know she doesn't. This is all a joke. It has to be a joke.

Kate shakes her head and to my surprise gives a small laugh, "Wrong again Charon." Something about the way she says my name feels good, but i'm still too blindsided to respond so she keeps speaking.

"I know what you're thinking, Kate's just as young and idiotic as I thought she was. Maybe you think i'm fucked up, I don't know...I just...its always been you Charon. I don't know how to explain it really, I guess because no one has ever meant so much to me other than my dad. It's not the same, but its like that...it's just...when I think about what love would be like, I think about you. I have no clue what it really is or what it means, but to me you're it." She takes a small pause.

"I never expected you to feel the same way," Kate smirks, " You're too good for a kid like me."

_Too good?_

I open my mouth but nothing comes out. My mind is running wild but at the same time seems to have stopped completely. I keep repeating the same mantra in my head:

Thats not something she could want. Thats not something she could ever want.

I am unloveable. I am the absolute definition of nothing. I can't be it for her.

* * *

 

I watch Charon struggle with himself. I figured he would take the news with difficulty, but never like this. He is left completely speechless, which isn't really hard for Charon, but this is a silence even he seems uncomfortable with. I let out another long sigh, still attempting to recover from letting go of my big secret. I sit up straighter, trying to regain a lot of the self-confidence I feel i've lost. Looking back at Charon I see he's still in the same position, wide eyed, mouth slightly ajar, disbelief. If I didn't know any better i'd swear he had died of shock.

To distract myself I rub under Dogmeat's chin. Sweet boy had come to comfort me when he saw me run in crying. My eyes go back to Charon. _Much like another sweet man._

Dogmeat nudges my hand and whines, even he can tell I feel as stupid as I look.

Part of me wishes I had never even opened my mouth, but at the same time it feels good to get it off my chest. I know Charon will probably just let this whole thing go. We will pretend nothing ever happened. In a way I feel like I can be okay with that.

A deep breath from my silent companion brings me back to his attention. It appears that Charon finally has something to say.


	3. Chapter 3

"Why the hell would you say something like that?" He spits. Charon's words are venom, suddenly defensive. My mind scrambles to catch up with his assumptions, attempting to read his thoughts.

"I'm not joking Charon!" I almost yell. Something about that seems to hit a nerve and he looks at me like he never has before, with malice. For a second he looks at the door, planning his escape, but I quickly lock my small hands on his forearm.

"Talk to me for once!" It comes out harsher than I intend, but I can't let him leave me like this. He has to tell me how he's feeling, even if it hurts me. Charon followed me with the intention to get me to talk, but now it is his turn.

"If it's not a joke then what is it?!" I recognize the fire in his eyes. I've seen him strangle the life out of those who have tried to hurt me with those eyes, but they have never before been pointed at me. "Someone like you would never want any part of this." He gestures to himself. I know I shouldn't be hurt, but I am. Ever since purchasing Charon's contract I have tried to get him to think more positively about himself. He's too damn hard-headed.

I open my mouth to retaliate but Charon isn't finished. I wonder if he took my words as an order or if he really is ready to open up.

"And if you aren't joking, you have NO idea what you are saying. Do you have any clue what people would do to you? You think everyone wants to kill you now, you don't have a clue."

"I don't care." I whisper, feeling my eyes water up again.

Charon scoffs as he pulls his arm away and stands beside the bed.

"You'd be considered tainted, an outcast, and when you changed your mind, when you realized this isn't what you wanted no one would ever touch you."

Even if all of the things he's saying are true, it doesn't matter to me. Being with him trumps being accepted by the masses any day.

"Who said I would change my mind?" My little interruptions seem to be making him even more mad, but I can't let him think he's winning. Charon can try all he wants, but he's lost the ability to scare me.

* * *

 

I say everything I can think of to terrify her. This is no longer about my feelings, this is about what Kate deserves. For months I had myself convinced I would be lucky if she ever said she had feelings for me. I thought I would accept her and tell her how I felt. In reality I feel completely enraged. Why would a girl like her, the Savior of the Wastes lower herself to something as monstrous as myself? The girl from the vault with her porcelain skin, long hair, and spotless reputation wants to ruin herself with me. Kate's already risked enough by keeping me as her companion, anything more and someone would know. Someone would slander that spotless reputation she's worked so hard to build up. I can't hurt her like that.

"Don't you fucking understand, I am nothing. I am a slave to whoever owns that contract and ever since the war ended I have become a monster, inside and out. You're not like me, we have nothing in common."

It feels so low to stoop to such childish tactics, but i'm running out of ideas. My heart is pounding in my ears as my blood boils, all I can think about is changing her mind.

"You could find someone so much better, yet you want to poison yourself with me. You have no idea what you're even asking."

"You're wrong." She says softly. It's only then that I notice the tears. A few wet streaks mark her face, all caused by me. I rub my hands over my face and try to recollect myself, wondering if i've taken things too far. Kate always makes me feel so conflicted.

"We have a lot in common." She sniffles. I'm about to firmly correct her, but she keeps speaking.

"You and I both grew up really lonely, we both still have some growing up and learning to do, we both like books, even if you can't read very well, we make a great team" She pauses, "You...you make me feel kind of grateful that my dad left. I still want to find him, but if I never do I know I won't be alone out here. I have you."

Kate almost giggles, "Ha, the Lone Wanderer's greatest fear was being alone. That's really silly." She says to herself.

The anger inside me begins to slowly die. She's completely right. I've always been alone, even while surrounded by the entirety of Underworld. Among my own people I was an outcast, Kate felt the same in the Vault. I remember her telling me stories about how all of those snot-nosed brats teased her. She too felt like an outsider among those who were like her.

Since Kate purchased my contract I have not spent one moment in loneliness. It's not because we are never apart, I was rarely apart from Azhrukhal and still felt like the only person in the world. But Azhrukhal did not treat me the way she does. Kate makes me feel wanted, she makes me feel included, like i'm someone that actually matters. She always has, ever since day one. Kate has always treated me as her equal, despite that seeming like a basic right, it is something I never expected from anyone, especially an employer.

I try not to let my sudden emotions show. "You deserve better." I huff.

Kate rolls her eyes and I am thankful the tears seem to be disappearing.

"Tell me Charon, what exactly do I deserve?"

I take a deep breath, wanting to keep my cool this time, "You deserve a man."

It hurts to admit it, but thats not what I am, nor have I ever been. Kate deserves someone that can love her fully without a contract, without the missing flesh, without the baggage of a horrific past. She needs someone who she can create a family with, not someone who is sterile. If she were to allow that I was hers, she would live half the life she could.

If my contract was ever stolen, the new holder could easily instruct me to kill Kate, regardless of any feelings I have for her. Kate would be the mockery of anyone that knew she was involved with me. The Savior of the Wastes has to make friends, help people, she couldn't do that if everyone found out we were more than traveling companions. Kate would have to live her whole life with a partner that has put out too much evil into this world. She has said many times that my actions were not my own, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I performed those actions. Finally she would be forever alone, just me and her with no way to continue her legacy through children and grandchildren. It doesn't feel right taking all of that from her so I can have what I want.

* * *

 

"Sit back down." I say, patting the bed covers where Charon had previously been. He does as I ask, but won't meet my eyes. I gently take his face in my hand, moving his gaze to mine.

"Even if everything you say is true I don't care. It doesn't matter if i'm looked at differently. I know you're trying to be sweet, saying I deserve better than you but that's not true. I'm not even sure if I deserve you, but you're what I want." I pull his chin in closer to my face," Also, news flash Charon, you are a man. We've been over this, I know its hard for you but at some point you have to realize you matter."

He doesn't speak so I continue, but its becoming more difficult with our faces this close. I've stared at Charon enough to know exactly what he looks like, but i've never had such a good view of him. He rarely lets me look at him like this. I can see almost every detail of his face, every muscle and leathery piece of flesh, the icy blue of his eyes. Even up close, he doesn't disgust me.

I take a deep breath and smile."You know Charon you've done a lot of talking, i'm pretty proud. Thank you for sharing your concerns with me, but you've forgotten to share something very important. You haven't exactly said how you feel about me. I've told you pretty plainly how I feel, but you've yet to say if you feel the same way."

His eyes grow wide, but he still doesn't say a thing. Charon thinks he's good at keeping his mouth shut, but I can make him talk.

"Or maybe you're trying to tell me you don't feel anything at all f-"

* * *

 

"No!" I stupidly shout. Its loud enough to make Dogmeat sit up on his hind legs, afraid that somethings happened. Something has happened, i've officially become the biggest idiot in the room. Kate smiles triumphantly as I try not to meet her gaze.

_Theres no fucking way she can't know now._

Despite that, Kate isn't done.

"No? What do you mean?" She tries to hide the knowing smirk that crosses her face. It makes me angry at how adorable I find it.

I attempt to stay silent, but her eyes are piercing me, almost threatening that I tell her the truth already. She's so close, its the closest I think she's ever been to my face. It should change her mind, give her a personal view of the monster she "cares for."

"My...my feelings for you are irrelevant."

"Not if you have them." She tests.

"They have never mattered before." Why I say it I don't know. Obviously not thinking I let my emotions get the best of me.

I try to think of something I can say to distract her from my statement. Kate is dangerously close to the truth and she knows it. All of a sudden her eyes light up, as if she's realized something thats been right in front of her.

"Is...is that why you've always protected me?" Kate says timidly, a soft smile on her face. "Like from Jericho and everyone else? That's why you said it wasn't the contract."

I know that any chance of fooling her is gone, so I nod slightly. Kate lets go of my chin and just stares into my eyes with disbelief.

* * *

 

"How...how long have you...?" Its hard to ask him, to actually put the pieces together and realize that everything Charon has done is because he cared.

"For quite a while." He whispers, its so low i'm not sure its even real. I had suspected once he got defensive, but hearing it like this makes it all appear made up. Still its not enough, I want to hear the words come out of his mouth. It's hard for Charon to feel things, but if he truly cares I want to know.

I push myself closer to him, even closer than when I held his chin only moments ago, "I love you."

It comes out more childlike than I intended, showcasing just how nervous I am. A few moments pass by and i'm worried i've gone too far, that "love" was too strong of a word to use. Never the less, its exactly how I feel. Before I can speak up and apologize for being so forward, Charon's lips part and he breaths out the words.

"I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

A huge smile breaks out on her face, followed by a few tears sliding down her full cheeks. Its beautiful.

Surprisingly the words feel good on whats left of my lips and I can't help but smile back at her. I thought saying them out loud would only earn me a new contract holder or a polite no. Instead I am greeted with small warm arms wrapping around my neck and the feeling of soft smooth skin. Kate reaches up around me, as best as she can and clings on for dear life. I can feel that she's crying a bit harder now, so I take my appropriate opportunity and wrap my arms around her.

Kate's hugged me a handful of time, mostly due to me discouraging her, but this is completely different. I can feel the palpable emotion between us as she grips the back of my neck with slender fingers. Its hard to deny any of it now, everything has changed.

I'm surprised when I feel a soft peck of skin against my neck.

_Her lips._

I pull back to meet her eyes, she does the same. With shy eyes she smiles, "I'm sorry...I...I should have asked if it was okay."

Completely stunned I have to remind myself to speak, "No, its okay. You can do whatever you want." As soon as the words leave my mouth I wish I could will them back. Really Kate, can do whatever she wants. She is the contract holder, she gives the orders, but that is not Kate. Regardless she requires permission she does not need. I would gladly give myself for or to her in any way she wanted. If only I had phrased my words better, instead it comes off a bit lewd.

Kate blushes a little, "Oh."

_Even she, the virginal vault girl took it wrong._

I get ready to explain myself when she says, "So...uh, can...can I..." She stops mid-sentence, but its clear what she wants. Kate is once again moving her face close to mind, her warm breath washing over me its almost impossible to control myself. "...can I kiss you?" Kate finally breathes. She's right there, her lips inches away from mine testing my will. Part of me wants to reach out and grab her, close the remaining space between us, but I still can't determine if her feelings are genuine. It feels completely stupid. Kate is right in front of me asking me to do something i've always wanted, but some part of my brain is still telling me it's all a dream.

I give a slight nod and she comes a bit closer.

"What do...what do I do?" Kate asks, her eyelids flutter. Something about that shoots a warm feeling through my stomach, a feeling I have felt often around her.

"You sure you want to do that smoothskin?" I breathe," You...you might not like it." Another fear of mine, Kate could have feelings for me, but what if she didn't like how I felt? What if kissing me or anything further disgusted her.

She rolls her golden brown eyes and smirks. It's absolutely ridiculous how beautiful everything she does is.

I should instruct her, tell her how to go about doing things, but that isn't what happens. Instead I slip my hand to cup the side of her face and press my lips against hers. I am gentle but passionate, I want her to know how important this is to me. It is the girl's first kiss after all, and she deserves a damn good one.

* * *

 

He always smells like leather and guns, but its intoxicating this close, especially with his lips pressed against mine. I had imagined what it would be like to kiss Charon. I figured it would be rougher, unlike the feeling of my father's lips when he kissed me on the head, tucking me into bed. It wouldn't be the same as when I practiced on my hand, or the one time when Amata had kissed my cheek. I had no idea it would make me dizzy with euphoria and burning for more. Charon was gentle, it felt like his lips barely touched mine, but what did set my world on fire.

Nova asked me once if I ever lusted after anything, I often wondered if what I felt for Charon would qualify. I don't know a lot about sex, so I was unable to give an accurate response. There was one thing I was certain of, Charon brought something out in me, and I wanted more.

* * *

 

When I pull away I can hardly breathe. The feeling of her lips and the added softness of her cheek in my palm makes my head spin. I do my best to meet her eyes, catching my breath. Kate looks at me with hooded lids, but her eyes are on fire. Before I can say anything her lips are back on mine, more forceful this time. I can't and will not argue, I kiss back and attempt to slow Kate's desperate pace.

"It cant be...that good." I say through ragged breaths. For me its fucking fantastic, but I know she can't be having the same experience. Kate is perfect, her breath warm and sweet, her lips soft and pink. I can't remember the last time I kissed a woman, whenever or whoever she was is nothing compared to this. It's not even the fact that Kate is a smoothskin, its just her.

In response Kate kisses back harder, her lips a little sloppy. I smile against her mouth and remember that she's never done this before. Maybe I should have instructed her after all, but it's so cute. Her naive and overly passionate kissing is perfectly adorable. I can teach her later.

Before I know it the mood changes completely. It goes from awkward kissing to Kate climbing up in my lap and pressing her body against mine. My immediate and desired action is to touch her. I want to grab Kate and bring her closer, but something feels odd.

_Where the hell is all of this coming from?_

"Smoothskin?" I whisper, working my lips away from her's. I attempt to meet her eyes, but Kate has decided that if she can't have my mouth she'll settle on my neck. The feeling of her soft wet lips against my skin makes it hard to speak.

"Charon...I...I want it to be you." She whispers, her eyes now on mine.

I almost ask what she means by that, but I don't have to. I watch as Kate fumbles with the button on her shorts and pulls her shirt over her head to reveal a Wasteland white bra.

_What the hell is she doing?!_

I reach out to stop her but Kate thinks i'm trying to further along the process. She wraps my arms around her and climbs in my lap to kiss me. My mouth opens in protest, "Why are...you doing?" The closer I am to her the harder it is to breath. Not to mention her state of dress is causing a more inappropriate reaction. I have rarely seen much of Kate's body. She's only ever undressed like this to heal her wounds or on a really hot day. Even so, she has never been this close to me while showing so much skin. Although she is on them, I attempt to cross my legs hoping to hide the blood rushing south.

"You said I could do whatever I wanted. I love you...i've always wanted it to be you." She replies, almost as if she's talking to herself. "I don't have any experience...but Nova told me what its like! I can figure it out for you I promise. I'll do the best I can."

Kate goes to work on my armor, trying to unlatch anything she can get her hands on. I want to stop her but I can't. She hasn't given orders, but my own will is too strong. This all feels wrong, but its what i've wanted for such a long time. I've longed for her to say that she wanted me. I shouldn't want to stop her, but I sense the timing isn't right. Kate deserves better than to be rushed into her first sexual experience.

When the plates become too difficult for her she fumes, "I don't know what to do!" Its only then that I notice her hands are shaking. Nothing about this feels right to me.

I grab her shaking hands and try to hold them still. I can feel her pulse hammering away under the skin of her thin wrists. With a sigh I whisper," Stop it Kate," with enough authority to get it through her head.

Her pretty face falls into despair and guilt. Thankfully, she seems to have come back to her senses. Kate's wrists fall from my hold and she clutches her body close. Sadly, this pushes her chest together, only making my situation worse. I grimace and readjust myself.

"I'm so sorry...if I forced myself on you...in any way." She whispers," If you don't want me like that, I understand." It hurts to hear her say something that is not only untrue, but impossible.

"You are the only one I have ever wanted." I say without thinking.

"Then whats wrong?" She whispers, placing her head against my chest. I take a deep breath and try to focus less on what I want and more on what should happen. Although i'm sure Kate can hear my heart hammering away in my chest.

"You've never been with anyone." I say, "You shouldn't rush things with me, even if you want to."

"But I love you." She moves her head so she can look up into my eyes. God, that stare. She could get anything she wanted from me with those big eyes and long lashes. Kate smiles knowingly.

"I love you too..." It feels so damn good to say it, "but we should do things the right way. You know, traditional. "

"So we have to wait until marriage? I thought that wasn't even a thing in the Wasteland. " Kate looks completely turned off to the idea.

"I didn't expect you would be so eager." I chuckle, "No, we don't have to wait until marriage. Although we should take things slower."

"So we're getting married?" Kate cocks an eyebrow and smirks up at me. I hate when she does that shit.

"This is exactly what I mean by taking things slow."

Kate giggles, "I know silly I was just joking. Besides, i'm supposed to change my mind by then right?" She winks, alluding to my scare tactics.

I roll my eyes, but can't hide my smile, "You're missing the point." I sigh," I care about you...i've never cared about anyone, not even myself. I want to make this...relationship good for you. I want you to be happy. If we rush, we won't get to enjoy it. Plus, you deserve the best I can possibly give you...and i'm not really sure how i'm going to pull that off yet."

She gives me a wide smile "You're right, we should take things slow. I'm sorry Charon, I just didn't ever think this would happen. I was afraid that if we didn't do something now...you might change your mind." Kate blushes, " Something came over me, I...I'm really sorry."

I kiss her forehead and adore the feeling of her soft skin against my cracked lips. "Its alright smoothskin. Don't beat yourself up over it, we can do other things in order to take it slow."

"Other things?"

"Nova didn't tell you about those?" I say with a smirk, watching Kate's blush redden. She'd trust anything the red-head said, especially about sex. Not that Nova doesn't have the credentials to back up her information.

"Uh, well...she told me about some things but I don't know if they're the same things...I mean-"

"Smoothskin?"

Her nervous eyes dart back to me, "Uh-huh?"

I gulp, gathering the courage to ask, "Have you ever touched yourself?" Its not the best analogy, but its the only one I can come up with.

Her whole face turns white, if I couldn't visably see that she was breathing I would have thought she dropped dead from shock.

"Like...down...there?" She chokes out. I shake my head, sort of enjoying the adorable embarrassment plastered all over her face.

Kate takes a moment to collect herself, finally she squeaks out a, "Yes."

I smile, watching her nervously pick at my armor to distract from the current topic.

"Well it's kind of like that, only with two people." She nods, face still bright red. It's cute to know she has experimented, although it does surprise me. Sure, Kate is human, but she's been sheltered for most of her life. I wouldn't have been shocked to hear she didn't masturbate.

"What about you?" Kate asks, wide eyes looking straight at me.

"I...uh, thats...thats not the point Kate." She doesn't need an answer from me, my mess of an answer says it all. Kate is sweet enough to laugh it off and not press the issue.

"Charon?" She asks after a brief moment of silence. I look down, acknowledging her. "Do you think you could maybe kiss me again?" Kate looks fearful that I will deny her. I shake my head and take her cheek in my palm like before. I start out slow, enjoying the way her lips brush against mine. After a few pecks I open my mouth and Kate follows my lead. My tongue dips gently into her mouth to find her's. In response, Kate timidly pushes her tongue against mine. Before I know it my hand has moved from her cheek to her hair. My other fights not to wrap itself around her half-naked body. If I wasn't touching her i'd swear all of it was a dream.

I end the kiss in order to keep my self control intact. Kate gives me a small frown that is quickly replaced by a smile when I kiss the tip of her nose. I next I let my ruined lips travel down her neck, and along her throat. Nothing has ever felt so good. She makes 200 years of slavery and isolation worth every second. Kate takes my free hand and wraps it around her small waist. I savor the way her skin feels against mine. I've lived such a long time, but I can't remember the last time a woman wanted me to touch her. The fact that its Kate makes it hard for me to control myself. For a moment I wonder if she had the right idea, maybe we shouldn't wait. I'm not sure I can even bare another second of being without her. Before I can take back my words, Wadsworth hovers into the room.

"Madam, you have a visitor."


	5. Chapter 5

When Charon and I reach the bottom of the stairs Nova is smirking up at us. Something in that smirk makes me nervous. Its as if she knows that moments before our eyes met I was scrambling to put my shirt back on. I just sigh and try to keep my cool. Besides, both of us coming out of my bedroom already looks bad enough. As I approach Nova Charon stays by the stairs, a look of mistrust on his face.

"I'm surprised your robot let me in after what I said to you. Thought you would have programmed him to fry my face off if I ever came around." Nova chuckles. It's her own special way of saying sorry.

"I forgive you Nova." I say with a small smile. Really I can't be too mad at her. The red-headed former prostitute is one of my closest friends. She means well, even when her actions don't. Nova, without even knowing did Charon and I both a favor. Or maybe she did know.

Nova smiles and sighs with relief, "Thanks girl." She whispers before turning her attention to Charon.

"See?" Nova grabs my shoulders and pulls me into a big hug, "We're best friends again. So quit giving me that dirty look."

Charon rolls his eyes, but only I see the slight smirk he can barely contain. He goes to make his way back up the stairs when Nova stops him. "Oh yeah, and none of that shit was about you. So don't get any ideas about this pretty little thing." She squeezes me tighter. It would be great if Nova knew how to keep her mouth shut.

This time Charon's smirk is completely visible. He shoots me a look and just shakes his head.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He mutters and proceeds to climb the stairs. Instead of going back into my room, he goes to his. I sigh with relief, if anything that should help quell some Nova's suspicions.

Once Charon is out of sight Nova holds me back and gives me a big smile. "That should keep him convinced for now. So tell me all about it?!" Her voice is a whisper, but you can feel her excitement.

"About what?" I stammer, avoiding eye contact.

"Honey, please, your shorts are unbuttoned. You can't fool me, so don't make some shit up. I know why." Nova flicks the metal snap button on my shorts.

My face burns as I quickly pull back and correct my indecency. I was worried about Charon looking suspicious when I left a huge piece of evidence right in front of Nova's view.

_God dammit how could I have been so stupid?!_

"N-Nothing happened! We just talked." I stammer as I watch my facade slowly crumble away.

"Bull-fucking-shit!" Nova cackles. She props herself up on the sofa, blue eyes sparkling, "You have to tell me all about it."

"There was no it." I hiss, turning my eyes up towards Charon's room. At least that part is true.

_He can probably hear every word._

Nova just rolls her eyes and smiles devilishly. "Well something happened!"

"I'll tell you j-just keep it down!" I beg. She's too good, no one can pull anything past Nova.

She holds her hands up in surrender, but that smile never leaves her face. "I assume you two are gonna be getting even closer."

I shrug, "He really likes me Nova...its crazy but he does." Its hard not to grin from ear to ear. I'm still basking in the happiness of Charon saying he loves me.

"Of course he does." Nova says, "Everyone sees how he looks at you." She wears a softer smile now and I can't help but blush. It's funny to think about it that way. Maybe everyone around us already knew what we didn't.

"I might have been an asshole, but don't say I never gave you anything." She winks, returning to her typical self. I can't really argue with her, Nova is the reason this whole thing came to light.

Nova sighs, getting up from the couch "Well kid, I should probably head back to the Saloon. Let me know if you and your ghoul want to have a game night again." The red-head makes her way towards the front door.

"Hey Nova?" I call out and she turns back to meet my gaze

"Maybe next time I can be the asshole. Think Gob would like to know?"

Nova looks a little surprised but winks with a devious grin, "I dare you."

 


End file.
